Fill in the blanks in this conclusion. No hints given!!

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Fill in the blanks in this conclusion.

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Put the bits and pieces of this conclusion in the correct order.

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The Conclusion Part 2

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The Conclusion Part 1

Listen to this conclusion and do the exercises below in the order they are.

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Preparing a Presentation. (Introduction+ Body with Listing & Sequencing)

Go over this guide that will help you prepare a presentation integrating all the concepts worked on so far.

Listing & sequencing ex 6

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Practise LISTING & SECUENCING expressions

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Pls., find below a summary of the expressions used to LIST & SEQUENCE

Focus on the language of LISTING & SEQUENCING

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Write your Presentation (iNTRODUCTION + BODY)

A guide to prepare a short PRESENTATION with an introduction and a body.

Activity 5

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The Body: Another Sample of how to start, stop & transition

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The Body: A Sample of how to start, stop & transition

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A Sample of a Body

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TRUST

                        

                                                            

So, as a leader, how do you create an environment of trust?

It all starts with you. Can you honestly say that you trust yourself? If you cannot trust yourself, then how can you expect others to do so?

In thousands of ways over the course of a day, you teach people about the kind of person you are. "Who you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say," says Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Learn to trust yourself and that translates to how others treat you. This requires you to be more intentional about your behavior and then learn to communicate directly what you expect from others.

Julio Olalla of the Newfield Network delineates three elements of trust: reliability, sincerity and competence. Let's explore those elements so you can develop them in yourself and also, when you feel you cannot trust someone, identify which element of trust you are not experiencing in this person. In this way, you can address your specific concern with that person.

Are you reliable?

Do you do what you say you will do? Do you say "yes" to things without thinking about what you're agreeing to?

Have you ever said "Let's do lunch" without any intention of ever seeing the person again? Every word you utter has meaning. There is always an impact even if you are unaware of what that impact may be.

Whenever you speak, consider the consequences

Dependability is a key component of trust. Whenever you speak, consider the consequences. Become a person who honors their word, meaning that you do whatever you say you'll do even if that commitment is to yourself. For instance, if you have no intention of dieting tomorrow, then don't say you will.

Setting an intention to do something or making a commitment to follow through on a particular goal is not something to be taken lightly. Consider what you're willing to do to make it happen. If you're unwilling, unable or don't have the time, then don't say you'll do it.

There are many reasons why people have a hard time saying "no" even though they know they cannot complete the task. These include people-pleasing, needing to be liked, concern over what other people think, or the "superman/woman" mentality. There is also the person who is so unhappy that he stays busy to avoid his reality.

Coaching tip: Before you say anything, consider your words carefully. Only say "yes" to what you can commit to following through with. Each day, find little ways to follow through on what you say. If you're not sure you can complete a task then use your words to convey that.

It's essential you learn to keep the promises you make to yourself. When you learn to keep your word to yourself, you take yourself seriously and that translates to others over time who will also learn to take you seriously. You become someone who is reliable and who honors her word. You will be treated with respect when you first treat yourself with respect.

Are you sincere?

How you say what you say conveys trust. To be sincere means to be authentic. To be authentic means to be transparent. This means that you are clear; people can see through you - there is nothing clouding or impeding the view.

This is not easy to achieve and yet it is the path to revealing your true self and to feeling good about who you are. When you take your words seriously and speak your truth with conviction, people perceive you as sincere. Then when you follow through with what you say, that solidifies their faith in you.

Are you competent?

Do you have the skill to perform the request at a certain level of excellence? If you don't and take on the task anyway, it won't be completed the way it needs to be. Why are you taking on a task for which you are not the best suited?

You will be treated with respect when you first treat yourself with respect

It goes back to why you have difficulty saying "no". There may be other obstacles showing up here including not wanting to disappoint others, again, not knowing how to say "no" to a request, perfectionism, procrastination or an inability to set timely schedules for yourself or use your time effectively.

When you hold yourself out to be an expert at something but are not capable of performing to the specifications needed, you are, in essence, lying. This causes you stress because you are out of integrity. It also makes you look bad and can result in a negative reputation.

Coaching tip: Are you the best person for the job? If not, say "no!" Don't take on projects that you cannot handle. Only do those things for which you can excel. You want to become known as a master and you cannot excel at things where you don't have the skill or talent.

Be honest with yourself about your level of skill and then seek out the appropriate education if that's what you want. Be truthful with others about your capabilities and learn to ask for help when you need it. There is nothing more humbling then asking for help and yet it demonstrates your humanness. Welcome to Club Human.

Whenever you breach one of these elements, you decrease your trustworthiness. If you apologize to the person - especially to yourself - then it softens the impact and you can regain some ground in developing yourself as a trustworthy person. Accepting responsibility for your truthfulness, your words, actions and follow through, demonstrates your commitment to yourself and to your evolution as an adult.

Learning to trust yourself has huge implications for your life. When you trust yourself, you recognize trust in others so you know when you can count on someone or not and make better choices about who you surround yourself with. You also feel better about yourself. When you honor your word, you build your self-esteem.

Learning to say "no" to what you don't want or what is not beneficial for you means you can learn to say "yes" to those things that are the best use of your time. This means more joy and less stress for you.

This sounds simplistic but it is very difficult in practice. Just keep practicing. Each day offers you a new opportunity to test your trustworthiness and with each try, you'll improve.

Julie Fuimano, MBA, RN of Nurturing Your Success Inc., is an executive and personal coach with a passion for helping people take the challenging journey to a new level of success. Contact Julie at (610) 277-2726 or email: Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to arrange a coaching consultation. Fuimano is a popular motivational speaker, internationally renowned writer, and author of the life manual and confidence builder: The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance - available wherever books are sold. Sign up for her inspiring e-newsletter at NurturingYourSuccess.com.

LISTENING

THE ART OF LISTENING      By Alan Sieler

What's the importance of LISTENING?

 

 Have you ever been accused of not listening? Who hasn’t! How about  being complimented on how well you listened? Both these types of comments recognise what is probably the most crucial factor for effective communication and developing relationships.

You might be thinking "Come on! What’s the big deal about listening? It’s more important to speak clearly." But don’t we all have a yearning to be listened to? To know that at least someone is going to be attentive to what we are saying, and to provide us with the space to speak what is on our minds, not interrupt and not appear to be too judgemental about what we are saying? One of the dangers in a world which seems to be continually going faster is that we have too many things going on to really listen to others. As a result, personal and professional relationships suffer. Your response to this might be "Does this mean that I have to put up with people’s drivel all day - their whinges and complaints?" No, we definitely do not mean that.

Would you define LISTENING as a quiet and attentive activity?
For us, listening is not simply being quiet and attentive to what others are saying. If this were the case it would place us in a passive position of always being on the receiving end of what others say. Listening is much more than this, and this is why we suggest that listening is an art. What do we mean by this? Simply the following: when we speak, we always speak from our own listening and always speak to the listening of others.We regard the art of listening as continually developing an awareness of our own listening and the likely listening of others.

So, if listening is not just being quiet and attentive, then what is it? To answer this question we need to take a look at language and communication. Our traditional way of looking at these is that language is about speaking, and that communication is about speaking effectively to convey messages. Whilst relevant, this perspective is insufficient and omits a critical component for relationship-building.

What are you doing when you are listening? What is going on with you when others are speaking? 
Our response to this is that you are in language. What? More specifically, you are in conversation. Sounds silly doesn’t it? - you’re not saying anything but you’re in conversation. What sort of conversation? Essentially a conversation with yourself. When others speak, we almost always have a silent conversation going on inside our heads about what they are saying. This silent conversation is more often than not outside of our awareness, which is OK, except our listening will determine how we respond to others, i.e. what we do and say.

Our listening is a powerful and everpresent part of our daily existence. And the interesting thing is, we do not listen to everything others say. We are often inadvertently very biased or prejudiced in our listening. You might be saying "Gee, that’s pretty strong stuff saying that my listening is prejudiced." 

What do we mean by stating that listening is prejudiced?

What we are suggesting is that we always listen from a particular "place", the current mindset (including emotions and our posture) we are in, paying attention to what best suits our needs, interests and concerns at the moment. This does not mean that we are selfish or uncaring. Indeed, many of our concerns are for the well-being of others and from this particular mindset we can be very attentive and present for others.

At any point in time, we each have particular things in our world which are important to us. They matter to us and we want to be taking care of them, and as a result they are in the forefront of our mind in our interactions with others. Unless we put them aside, they will dominate how we listen. This is because listening is about making our own sense of what others are saying, and much of the time this is unique. Listening is like being a translator. Even though we might speak the same language, through our experiences we all have developed our own ways of coming to understand what others are saying. Listening is about generating our own meaning about the speaking of others.

Why are we different? What kind of impact does this difference make on the way we listen?

Because we have all had different background experiences, from which we have learned how to make sense of what is going on around us. Factors such as different family, neighbourhood, suburban, regional, national educational, ethnic, religious, professional and social backgrounds all form a unique cocktail of experiences, which provide the backdrop from which we listen. In many ways, when people speak, we are on automatic pilot in how we make sense of their words. Our background means that we are automatically predisposed to listen to what they are saying in a certain way.

Are you saying that I have no control over my listening? Not at all. However, we do claim that it is not something that we are very practiced at doing. Without being aware of the silent conversations that begin to run when others speak, then our listening will run us. In fact we suggest that there are the three A’s of listening: always, automatic and already. We are always listening to the world, even if there are no sounds or words. This is because listening is a generic term for continually interpreting what is going on around us. Visual symbols and people’s gestures all have meaning for us, which we express silently and unobtrusively to ourselves. Didn’t you always know when you were in trouble with one or both of your parents without any of them saying anything? !!!

Before anyone opens their mouth to speak we already have an interpretation about what they are going to say. What? Our diversity of experiences has resulted in us developing our own ways of reacting and responding to with the world. These ways of responding sit within in us like a bank of audiotaped background conversations. The actions of others - their ways of communicating and behaving - simply activate our tapes. In other words, they trigger what is already there, the ways we have learned to interpret what is going on. This is the notion of automatic and already listening.

At this point you might be thinking (= listening), that listening is a bit of a lost cause if all we have is always, automatic and already listening. However, all is not lost! Listening can be a very powerful ally for us  enhancing our communication and developing relationships. Firstly, we do not have to be the victim of our listening. Each of us has the capacity to "tune into" the interpretations we are generating, which we can prompt ourselves to do by continually having in front of us the question "How am I listening to this?" Secondly, we can explore what is behind our listening. The essence of this is the standards we live by. These will be satisfied or "violated", the latter producing a negative listening. This enables us to observe with clarity  what is going on in our listening. Thirdly, we can also wonder "Do I want to listen this way? How do I want to be listening?" The easiest way to shift our listening is to shift into a different posture and breathe more fully, which will alter our mood, and at the same time be aware of the key standards from which we are listening.

Finally, listening is our greatest ally in communication. We regard listening as the preeminent factor in communication. Why is this? Because communication is not just about speaking. It is about speaking to people whom we have already listened to, such that we acknowledge and address their needs, interests and concerns. This is the foundation for creating responsiveness. Effective communication starts with listening - our listening (anticipation) of how others will respond to the different things we say and how we say them. A key part of influence is acknowledging and accepting the existence of negative interpretations by building them into our speaking.

How about some practice? In your relationships contrast the different listening you have to those you do and don’t get on well with. What standards or criteria are you listening from? And how are they listening to you - what are the interpretations they have, and what are their key standards? How about mood and body - what body to you listen to each other from and what body differences do you observe? Finally, how can you take their listening into account, and build it into your speaking, to at least acknowledge their needs, interests and concerns?